I received four phone calls today wishing me a happy Mother's day from all three sons and my daughter-in-law. I light up when I talk with them. They and my DH are such a joy to know and be with. And my grandson, he's too young to converse on the phone at this time but I heard him giggling in the background -- he lights me up too.
I have loved being a mother to our sons. When they were young, we played silly games, went hunting for salamanders and tadpoles, took hikes to do tree identification portfolios (homework for school and Royal Rangers), and hunted for treasures along a portion of rail trail in the miles of woods behind our house. They would create their own plays and use my husband's video camera to film each other or Frank and I would film the three of them. Sometimes, they would play the old taped Star Trek episodes, turn down the sound, and record their ad-libbed version of the scripted dialog. What fun! And funny! They are still creative in their adulthood, on and off their jobs.
When I've examined my feelings for them, I find it amazing that my love for each of them knows no bounds. They each totally captured my heart before they were born and they have continued to capture my mind and emotions more and more each day since birth. I love the men they have become and are still becoming. It boggles my brain that a mother's heart can hold a limitless love for so many people. But there is another love that completely blows me away.
I'm head over heels in love with another little boy, my grandson. I didn't carry him in my body feeling him squirm or kick me in places no other human has ever touched. I didn't get up for what seemed like endless nights of night-time feedings. I haven't worked with him on a daily basis, encouraging him and watching him grow day by day to see him reach each milestone of development. I haven't greeted him every morning of his life with an exchange of hugs and kisses and taken care of his daily needs. I've only seen him every couple of months in the nineteen months of his young life. How can this incredible, aching love exist when we've shared so little?
I have friends who have many grandchildren. When trying to explain their crazy love for them they have always ended with the words, "You'll just have to experience it for yourself. It can't be explained in words."
Well, now that I am experiencing it, I have a theory. You can laugh at it and say that I'm a flaky middle aged woman but it's the only explanation I have that makes sense to me. I think God created something in mothers so that the love I feel for my son is multiplied through the mysterious power of my son's own love for his child, which I can see, sense and feel in him. It rebounds back to me in the form of this overwhelming love for a baby I can't spend enough time with and yet, when I am with him, I feel a deep bond as though I've always known him. That is the best I can do to explain it.
Although they are grown and all out on their own, I still love being a mother to my three sons. And I love being a grandmother to Michael.
Tags: love, Mother's day, mother, family, sons, grandson
